How to the Bushiev Festival UFO flew


I have long wanted to tell this story, but everything somehow did not reach: then one needed to write, then another, I’ll just forget. The recently recent Bushyevsky festival recalled her again, so I decided to slightly laugh my respected reader.

The case, as you have already guessed, was on the Bushuyevsky festival of gunsmiths and masters of 2018 (Zlatoust).

Heat, the sun flies mercilessly, in the sky neither the cloud. People sea. We work as heads, we communicate, talk, we meet new and old friends. In the evening, I managed to consult a spouse and allocate an hour of time to walk around the fair, chat with masters, see who and what trades.

At the very end of trading rows (on the map), a special platform was equipped for a competition of tree figures. Several masters from different regions of our country drank from huge logs. Someone cut out a funny gnome-rider on Snail, someone Indian leader, another — a carved pillar. And one of the masters cut out of a huge aliens of a huge aliens, who kept the palm of the bard with a guitar.

The height of the kits was something about 4 (four !!!) meters. Impression, of course, it left the ambiguous. But the fact remained a fact, the crowd of zooak alien assembled the notable one. Almost everyone wanted to take pictures with this «washer», even a small improvised queue lined up.



Only heard the sound of the carts of cameras. Some parents even tried to put on the basis of the wooden figure of their children to get a steep frame. The smallest came from fear. One of the guests of the festival, well gives care of fiery water, was trying whether to climb on this figure, whether to greet his hand with him, but he was stopped — the sculpture began to grow threateningly.

I also made a few frames of this monster, looked around, picked up the workshops and ran back to the tent. Right at the energy level felt that the spouse had already thought about where her half was hanging so long.

The first trading day flew instantly. We posted on complete, tired more than ever. Temperature in the sun (we try to always take the sunny side — the glass loves the light) turned over 40, so you drank a huge amount of mineral water. At the end of the day washed, they prepared to eat, they talked with such tolders, and went to bed.

My women workers went to sleep in «Bushyev» — you can wash it there, sleep well, tastefully breakfast. I, as always, sleep in a shopping tent. Fat foam and warm sleeping bag-cocoon: What else do you need an old tourist? Yes, and understand / gather every morning and the evening frankly too lazy.

Night has come. The moon climbed on the cloudless sky and illuminated a pleasant yellowish light fleece. Whether I’m too tired, or just a full moon so worked on me, but there was no sleep. I tried to count the rams, read the book on the phone, watched the photos, but I could not fall asleep.

In the end, closer to the two o’clock in the night, the body persistently called me to familiarize yourself with the wonderful architectural ensemble of white and blue plastic known toilet sculptor. Having closed the tent, I went to the upper platform — there were fewer people in the day, therefore the toilet sculptures are not so inspered.

I am going to myself slowly, I look into the bottomless blue sky, admiring the moon, considering the faded thread of the lunar glare on the asphalt. As suddenly, literally just rising to the upper platform, …


Separating, looking at his feet, holding a bundle of toilet paper in his hand and something bubble under his nose, for several tens of meters to the toilet, he overtakes me, jesters inside and slams the door.

Well, do not play in the catchy!


Nothing terrible wait.

Looked around.


Quiet, calm, souls.

Only alien puck turned face to the toilet.

She looked around yes about, pops up sawdust.

Something man is delayed.

He did not fall asleep there?

Only I headed for the toilet and wanted to knock into the booth, as the pike knocked and the door swung open.

On the threshold of the toilet, two meters from me, I froze the same man … And looked straight on me, in the focus, and I did not see me.

How he watched!

At his face, such a genuine horror was depicted, as if the most terrible demon of hell awaited him here, behind the plastic toilet door to grab and drag to his dark lord.

The legs were trembling, and the lower jaw went to the chance in an attempt to capture as much as possible.

The inhuman cry was already ready to escape from his throat when …


The brain turned on …

And he understood that behind my back is not a demon of hell, and that … yes, yes, it is the same figure from the tree, to which he tried to climb the day …

Holy! Holy! Holy! — A little trembling voice whispered a man on the threshold of the toilet and rushed off the platform.

I looked around.

Behind my back, the giant-aliens also rose, who held a bard-geologist on a semi-bent hand and peered into the opened toilet door.

But, a few minutes later, when I went out of the toilet …

Hmm, he truth winked for me?